Phew! Second posting in less than 24 hours! Well, this is to continue with my previous post, which was ruthlessly interrupted with my parents coming home! :(
Seeing GY on TV last night brought back many thoughts and memories. I guess I haven't really put him aside yet. I realised it's really hard to forget about someone, and as I told SM over SMS last night, it's sometimes fun to bring up and reminicise about good times past.
The fact that he's still in my ICQ list (although he might have changed his nick) and that I still have his phone and pager no. (although he has a handphone now) just confirms this fact. I just can't bear to delete all traces (no matter how slight) of him!
I'm just wondering.. if there's no one I am interested in at this moment, would I still be liking him? Very high possibility!
Then, I was reading the old entries in my diary.. How from talking about my feelings for K to, in a rather short span of time, liking him.
Do I view love too lightly? Am I too easy? (flirty??) Perhaps this is the reason why I haven't confessed to any of my close friends about liking him.
The scenario involving these 2 guys is so similar. The guy approaches me first, and says and does things to make me feel something for him. And in K's case, these actions seem to have died down. So is this why I turned to him? For him, it could just be that his actions are taking a little longer and just be over before I know it!
Come to think of it, perhaps I already had feelings for him long time ago, when I first knew him. I admit I was pretty disappointed when I learnt he was attached slightly more than a year ago, during O week. And given that I had just known K then and he seemed so nice and eager, he provided some kind of a welcome distraction from him.
In fact, in my previous entries, I had mentioned that my biggest benefit of joining O Week in 2003 was knowing these 2 guys. And it does help that K is away on exchange this semester, although I was quite upset when I first learnt of it!
I know this is unfair to K, but if he hadn't gone for exchange, would I still feel so strongly towards him? I don't know.
Which brings me to the point: Do I xi xin yan jiu too quickly?
I have often thought about this, but I came to this thinking.. This is probbaly because all my "relationships" had been mere crushes. There was no form of assurance about the outcome. If I had been in a "real" relationship, I doubt I would have felt this way because I think it is so fortunate to have someone who reciprocates your feelings.
That's probably the best defence I can offer for myself!
Seeing GY on TV last night brought back many thoughts and memories. I guess I haven't really put him aside yet. I realised it's really hard to forget about someone, and as I told SM over SMS last night, it's sometimes fun to bring up and reminicise about good times past.
The fact that he's still in my ICQ list (although he might have changed his nick) and that I still have his phone and pager no. (although he has a handphone now) just confirms this fact. I just can't bear to delete all traces (no matter how slight) of him!
I'm just wondering.. if there's no one I am interested in at this moment, would I still be liking him? Very high possibility!
Then, I was reading the old entries in my diary.. How from talking about my feelings for K to, in a rather short span of time, liking him.
Do I view love too lightly? Am I too easy? (flirty??) Perhaps this is the reason why I haven't confessed to any of my close friends about liking him.
The scenario involving these 2 guys is so similar. The guy approaches me first, and says and does things to make me feel something for him. And in K's case, these actions seem to have died down. So is this why I turned to him? For him, it could just be that his actions are taking a little longer and just be over before I know it!
Come to think of it, perhaps I already had feelings for him long time ago, when I first knew him. I admit I was pretty disappointed when I learnt he was attached slightly more than a year ago, during O week. And given that I had just known K then and he seemed so nice and eager, he provided some kind of a welcome distraction from him.
In fact, in my previous entries, I had mentioned that my biggest benefit of joining O Week in 2003 was knowing these 2 guys. And it does help that K is away on exchange this semester, although I was quite upset when I first learnt of it!
I know this is unfair to K, but if he hadn't gone for exchange, would I still feel so strongly towards him? I don't know.
Which brings me to the point: Do I xi xin yan jiu too quickly?
I have often thought about this, but I came to this thinking.. This is probbaly because all my "relationships" had been mere crushes. There was no form of assurance about the outcome. If I had been in a "real" relationship, I doubt I would have felt this way because I think it is so fortunate to have someone who reciprocates your feelings.
That's probably the best defence I can offer for myself!
0 comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home