Met up with the girls yesterday for our belated Christmas celebration at Lips Cafe. Took a few photos; will post them up if I can find the cable... Arrgh!!! Laughed quite a bit too. It was such a nice feeling to see all of them again!
And yay! I've got a new haircut! After three long months! To think that not so long ago, I only cut my hair like once or twice a year??!! Gosh! This haircut was such an absolute necessity.. my natural curls were growing in all directions and the hair was getting so thick, making my whole head feel so heavy! I feel so light and good now! All credits to Andrew for doing such a wonderful job! Love this guy! Can't wait to let my friends see my new hair style!
Continuing from the previous entry, I didn't do as well this semester, and it was rather disappointing. But heck, I have gotten over it and now must face the utter agony of planning my modules... AGAIN! How time flies! I always hate this period!
And I guess all is well between him and I, just like before. In fact, nothing probably even happened that warranted feelings of loneliness from me! It was just sensitive thinking on my part. Was discussing the modules with him and I still don't know what slots he's taking.. But he knows what I am doing, so I am hoping he broach the subject with me.. Sigh! Never liked taking the initiative for anything!
Movie and bbq tomorrow! Yay!
Me gonna enjoy the last 1.5 weeks of hols to the fullest!
... How should I start this entry? I've actually got quite a bit to update.
Well, I was wrong to be in such a depressed mood in my last entry. All the crap about a boring week ahead. I won't say exactly that this is not entirely true. But today's gathering was totally out of the blue. Maybe because I am used to gatherings that are planned way in advance, complete with the where, what and when details.
I was on MSN chat with him on Sunday night, erm, well early Monday morning. And he asked me for a mahjong session on Tuesday. I was pretty excited, as usual. Because W asked me out for a movie on the same day and I was actually not really looking forward to it. Well, we could always go for the movie after the game!
Chatted with him last night also, mainly to ask him about today. I need details! I can't stand anything hanging in the air, with so many uncertainties still unsettled. And he told me his right eye was swollen. Turns out he has a small boil. I scolded him for still arranging mahjong when his eye was in such a condition!
Anyway, we had some sort of a marathon mahjong session today. Met W at Bishan around 11.15 today. Ka Weng also joined us.
Reached his place around 11.40. His eye was pretty swollen, but not as red as I thought it would be.
Played till around 2pm, then went for lunch. Continued around 3pm till 6.30pm. You do the math. Was so exhausted after everything, and I turned W down for the movie, coz I was so tired! My back and butt were feeling so sore! Also, the people at home gave me a couple of missed calls... Always happens when I'm out! I'm so sick of it!
Overall, I would say I enjoyed myself, although I lost miserably! But I learnt a couple of new skills at the same time! Now I have a much clearer understanding of how the game is played, especially the counting of "tai". I was a total idiot before this!
Been reading Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, and came across this word: Mentionitis. This was conjured up by the author, Helen Fielding. It's like an "illness". A typical "sufferer" would keep mentioning a person's name and it is usually done subconsciously, but so much can be implied from his actions. The sufferer could be thinking a lot about the person in question. I would say I am a typical "sufferer" but I would have to learn to cut down on it coz my intentions might get too obvious for other people! I have experienced it so many times; just when I want to say someone's name (well, mostly him lah), I shut myself up quickly. It's quite tiring sometimes, not being able to speak at your own will.
I was quite upset today coz I just felt he was talking to Ka Weng, a bit excessively, about Melissa. She's a Year One student from Bizad too. Come to think of it, I was probably too sensitive coz it was only during lunch! Hahaha!
I feel so pissed off! So regretful! So fidgety! So upset! So I-should-have-done-that!! I am so so so upset!!!
Remember I mentioned earlier he missed called me last afternoon and later sent me a message not to call back? Turns out he wanted to ask me out for dinner!!!! Why didn't I pick up the phone??!!!!??!!
Well, he didn't seem angry when I asked him about it during our chat last night, but that was such a golden opportunity wasted!! Then he was rather passive during our chat last night. He took ages to reply! When I asked him to go for dinner to "compensate", he turned it down. Not in a very firm way though, he just said it was alright I couldn't make it.
Then I asked him to watch Ocean's 12, he said he hadn't watched the prequel yet. Told him it wasn't available for rental, he didn't reply me!
Told Shuwei about it, and she also said I missed a good chance! According to her "analysis", he could be interested in me too, but seriously, this kind of thing, it varies between guys. I don't want to think too much about it, but I just can't help it! I don't know what to say when I next see him online!
I got pretty fed up that I told Shuwei I wouldn't say bye to him when I was going offline, but she discouraged me from doing so. So I just told him I was going to bed and went offline without waiting to see if he would reply me! Well, perhaps, he wouldn't even!
This is the first time I feel so irritated with his actions! Seriously! Well, I am at fault too. Can't blame anyone for spurning this God-sent chance! Bleah!
Boring past week. I foresee another boring week ahead... So depressing! I can't wait for December to come to an end and for the new semester to come! Oh God! Save me from the boredom (and the dreadful feeling of loneliness)!
KTV was called off on Sunday, which really wouldn't have made much of a difference to my mood coz he wasn't able to make it anyway...
It's Thursday tomorrow. Exactly a week ago, we caught 'Shutter' at J8. Sigh! How time flies! I always have this tendency to think back of any memorable day. And it is always the day right after the event, and one week after it. I would be thinking: This time last week I was doing this, this time last week I was just leaving the house, on my way to meeting him blah blah blah... I can't stand myself!
But, thank God he has been online, as always, so I have been able to chat with him, and not go to the extent of losing touch with him for the holidays. Chatted on Monday and I told him I wanted to do Services Marketing next semester. And he was doing the same thing! (Well actually, I knew about this waay long time ago. Obviously, I had acted ignorant and played dumb again! Hahaha!) Keeping my fingers crossed, I hope to be able to get the same class as him! This would be my last chance!
I got quite a nice surprise yesterday. He called me from work asking me to help him check something. Ok, I must confess. I lied to him that I was at work. It was quite a disappointment. Jill from the recruitment agency called me three days before I was due to start work that the client canceled their request already! And she had already sent the time sheet to me already! But he was being nice. I told him I was coming back from lunch and he asked if the food was good. Small thing, but I was overjoyed!
Then, he gave me a missed call today. The number was foreign; I didn't recognize it. Just when I was dialing it, I noticed a message received. It turned out to be from him.
It read: "sorry that miss call is me do not call back ah".
I badly wanted to know why he called me for. Well, he could be asking me to do something for him and he forgot I was "at work", so decided not to disturb me after all. Whatever! I was just happy he thought of me! Sigh! How silly of me! It is such silly and little things that really perk up my day! Now I regret why I didn't call him on his mobile to ask him what was up! Bleah!
Met up with him for a movie last night, as promised, although in the end, I still could not catch Bridget Jones! Hahaha.. Was just too bad, there were quite a couple of last minute changes yesterday while we were planning the whole thing.
We initially agreed on catching the 5.15pm show at Lido as he would be coming from school (He took leave from work yesterday). Then, he was meeting his friend so would not be able to make it for that timeslot.
We next decided on the 9.35pm slot at Bishan. But the dumb service 53's last bus was at 11.15pm, so there was no way I could catch that bus after the show.
So, I decided on catching the 7.10pm slot for "Shutter" and he agreed. I had told him it was ok to postpone this outing but he said since he had already promised me, he couldn't go back on his words.
To make me feel even worse, S had already told him in great detail about the show; so it is like he has watched the whole show already!! How bad is that??!!
Anyway, the show ended around 9pm and we went to Mos Burger for a drink. Chatted for a while and went to Popular next. He remembered to pass me the Yanzi cd for me to burn! Yay!
Reached home around 10.30pm, wondering when can be the next time I can meet up with him again...
Was looking through my old emails and stumbled upon this email by one of my friends. Each line is so very meaningful.
1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
This line struck my thoughts the most. I have felt this terrible feeling so many times!!
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
This is an especially good wakeup call to me. Get a life and move on!
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to
Been rereading my past OD entries. Well, I might have switched allegiance to Blogger, OD still contains lots of my wonderful memories and secrets! I would cry if the OD people closed down my account due to inactivity!
As always, reading the past entries brought back lots of memories, heartwarming, silly, sad and all. Came across some entries, and I actually thought: How in the heck could I have written about this?? People change; environments change. I have definitely grown and changed a lot over these few years.As always, most of my entries had been written with a single purpose: some, if not all, mention of him. You can practically feel the change of moods and emotions of each succeeding entry. Elation to regrets to loneliness and back to elation again.. How could I have been so silly? My whole life had been centred around him! And what is the point of this? I just feel I have wasted so much time!
Silly me!
On another note, NUS's and NTU's fees are going to be increased by 5% for the new academic year. This is the first fee hike in three years. This further justifies the fact that my decision to graduate in May is right. Fee hikes were scheduled for 2002 and 2003, but were postponed due to the poor economic condition then.I have been so lucky, and I thank God for that. I "escaped" from the scheduled fee hike in 2002 (when I first entered the U), and now that I am graduating in half a year's time, I have broken free from this latest fee hike as well!
Btw, I have landed a 2-day job doing simple admin duties from the 14th. Heck, short it may be, but the money I would receive would do such wonders to my badly improvised lifestyle! Hahaha.....
Check out my wishlist (not in order of priority. All are equally important; it would too tedious and tiring to priortise them! *yawnz*)
1. Complete classic manicure. My poor nails are in dire need of some TLC! (If I could afford it, I want a pedicure as well!)
2. Nice, comfy sweater that would keep me warm in the notoriously cold tutorial rooms of Bizad.. Brrr!!
3. Shoes - slippers for school, dainty pointed flats for casual wear, a real professional looking pointed executive type heels that screams "I am a career woman!".. hahahaha!!
4. One more pair of jeans, preferably slim fit and straight cut.
5. More clothes. No girl would complain at having one more piece of fabric clogging up her wardrobe! Skirts, nice dresses that are not too over, nice well-tailored shirts for presentations, really nice halter-necks. It's so hard to find nice ones nowadays!
6. A small, girly bag for "shopping and other purposes"
7. Cosmetics! I want a 'add-volume' mascara badly! Lip gloss!
8. Another haircut!
Wanted to come up with 10, but found it pretty hard-pressed. Anyway, i think item number 5 would already account for more than 3 points. Just wanted to make it look less "demanding" by lumping all of them together! Besides, I have already covered nearly aspect of me from top to toe! Would add on to the list as I think of more...
Feeling contrasting moods again. My Bridget Jones movie date seems to be on the line. It's already Wed afternoon and nothing has been confirmed yet! And his tone on MSN last night seemed to signal the date would be off.. :-( Hopefully not, *fingers double crossed*
2nd, i just bought a skirt from iora... feeling great! Just love the embroidered details! lalalala...
Ok. Thursday came and past like that. Sigh.. it is scary how time passes like that. Always telling myself to adopt the "carpe diem" spirit, to seize the day. Bleah! Especially now, I am just aimlessly passing each day of the holidays.
So often I have thought: If only we could return to the past. Then I would be able to change so many things. Studying harder, avoiding committing the stupid mistakes I made in the past which I ended up regretting doing so, being more aware of people, etc.. Or plainly wondering, what would have happened if I did or didn't do this?
Time waits for no man. What is past is past. Sounds so cliche but it's so true. The contradictory part of me will think: Well, if I didn't do what I did in the past, I wouldn't be where I am now. There are just too many permutations that would occur. How would I know that even if I had the ability to change what I did in the past, I would be happier than where I am now? So the key is to be contented with the present. I am learning to look into the future, instead of dwelling in the past and what-ifs. The past should only serve to be good(or bad) memories to be permanently etched in one's mind. It's good to bring them up once in a while to reminisce about, but that should be about all.
On a happier note, I might finally be able to catch Bridget Jones! Yay! With him. We were chatting last night and he told me his friend (a girl) and her three friends (all guys) found the show good. In the beginning, I was resigned to either watching the show with the girls or wait for the VCD to be released. Later, he said he didn't mind watching the movie if someone treated him. Of course I didn't mind. I would be so happy just to be able to watch a movie with him!
Turns out he was joking about me treating him. He said he would pay for his own share! Haha! Granting that everything goes well, we should be watching the movie on Thursday. *keeping my fingers crossed*
Green Tea...You are Green Tea! Strong and very smart you prefer peace to violence and very rarely take action if it involves confrontation. But you make up for this with your keen insight and understanding of the world and people around you, you have a very mysterious nature. Many people see you as laid back and that may be true but you are very intelligent and make good decisions.
Great temptation to note down in full detail of the happenings of yesterday. This is so typical of me, because I think I have very short term memory and it is often such a joy to reread your past entries and reminisce about the past. This has been my writing style and habit ever since I started keeping a diary.
It has been a week of ups and downs for me, manly of disappointments and surprises. Mahjong was planned for last Friday and I had been looking forward to it for the whole week only for my disappointments to be dashed the night before because W couldn't make it last minute. Met up with the girls on Monday for our long-awaited (anticipated? Not too sure about that.) KTV session at Party World Orchard. I would have to admit, I didn't really enjoy myself that much as compared to similar sessions with my uni friends. Then I thought the KTV session with my uni friends would be on Tuesday, only to be told that quite a number of them could not make it... So, hopes dashed again.
Well, enough of the depressing stuff. W called me on Tuesday and out of nowhere, he asked me for a mahjong session at H's place on Wednesday (i.e. yesterday) and a KTV session was to be scheduled on Thursday (i.e. today). What a turn of events! Just a few days ago, I was still figuring out how to spend this week because there were no activities planned and I was feeling rather sad because he would have started work on Dec 1st, and now this!
Anyway, we reached his place at around 1.15pm yesterday. His parents were at home. Played mahjong till around 6pm because he had to meet his Promo group mates for a celebration dinner later. I was rather disappointed initially when he said he had to go out. To think I was still considering the possibility of getting him to watch movie with W and I after the game!
W had asked me to watch movie earlier on, and I was actually pretty reluctant initially. In the end, we went to watch “Christmas With the Kranks”, which was so-so. The Incredibles was more enjoyable. Haha!
Well, meeting all of them today again for KTV. He would be coming late as he starts work today. I hope he wouldn't be too late! I am in two minds now. One part of me can't wait for 6pm to come, and the other part of me can't bear for today to end so quickly. I mean, two outings in quick succession is good, but I would rather them be more spread out than to be terribly free and wonder hard what to do after everything is over.
True blue Gemini. Prone to bouts of split personality. Loves shopping, not rich enough to enjoy retail therapy yet. Bank balance is not dwindling at the moment but time has become such a precious commodity that I wish my bank balance could dwindle a wee bit more to satisfy my shopping indulgence! sigh~
